You know, it is just the thing that when you have a dream, you never can seem to remember it. But with some, there is that lasting memory of a few fragments of the dream. I wish I could relate to you how amazing the dream was, but I can't even remember. What I have been left with is this:
Imagine looking out across a lake, and watching as magnificent and terrifying, illuminating and intimidating bolts of lightning strike far in the distance; then closer, and closer until the lightning seems to consume you. At the same moment, you hold the one you love, yet who you do not know, close; not fearing death, but finding a kind of bliss in a moment that is like eternity.
From this fragment, come with me, if you will, to an alien and yet fully inviting and enchanting night sky to rival any you have seen in your past. You gaze upon the stars only to see an earth-like moon patterning itself across the sky ever smaller into infinity as if all around us were other Earths, and at this moment we were all in line with one another. After a moment of being in complete awe, you rush to find some means to capture this moment only to find that when you have the means, the spell is broken and the beauty no longer remains.
I am no interpreter, and maybe my Dad would not like this to be interpreted, just experienced. But I will take my stab at it. I first of all cannot find a connection with the two strait away, except one that I unfortunately do not feel I can share here. With the first, I see my desire and fear of and for a true relationship. Few things can put the terror and wonder in a heart like that of lightning striking extremely near to you. The flash engulfs you and the thunder consumes you. However, at times this is part of what I have felt in my fragmented relationships, and perhaps the explanation of the imagery of my dream. With the second, I see related my frustration in sharing the beauty I see in the world. Not all the time, but when I am paying attention I always see it; however, it is so difficult to share it. With the physical world around me it is hard enough. But how do I share the heart of a foreign people I fell in love with? How do I share relationships in a way that people can make it there own, just as one can do with a masterful piece of art? And what about those special relationships that only you understand, and you can't even say how you understand it?
How can you give the ability to understand what is most wonderful?
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
Dad is good
And all the Dad's people said?
Amen?!
No!
They said, "All the time, and all the time Dad is good."
Didn't you read the title?...well I suppose they could say that as well, but the former certainly takes precedence over the latter, but oh well.
So I wanted to talk about all the amazing things that are happening right now, and about how our Dad has been working in my life, encouraging me, and building me up to be ready I believe to go to my Creative Access site this summer. (BTW, if you know the place, we don't talk about CH on published places, and I'm practicing my publishing skills for the time when I'm in the Capital) But what ended up happening was I spent almost an hour commenting, probably mostly pointlessly on a friends blog. So what you will receive here may be a shortened version of my view of the ever growing bright spot in my vision. (I wonder if they should put a "may cause blindness" warning on our Dad, it happened to my old friend Paul. In this generation he could have sued.)
So, I don't know about you, but personally when I reach this point of the semester, I'm struggling quite a bit to keep on top of things. Like a whole bunch really. I have, listed in priority and possibly time consumption: My position as a children's pastor, my college work, ...friends..., my other intern responsibilities, YIM fundraising, and sleep. As much as it hurts me to say, my time with Dad tends to jump from the top to the bottom rather irratically. Not a great thing for our relationship, and I thought my brothers and sisters should know. But things have been changing these past couple of weeks.
Maybe the rest of spring break helped, maybe my focus on the goal of completing a 52 mile bike race, or maybe my massive over exposure to the sun a little while back and massive amounts of vitamin D flowing through my system is what has done it. All these are possible, but I tie it to another source. Dad and his Pneuma have been doing amazing things, another of them just in this last hour.
Ok, so first off I want to talk about my friends from CH that are here where I study, not in CH. The first one is the bunny, not to be confused with a cat (which makes no sense to anyone but me, and her if she was actually reading this). This bunny hasn't met my Dad, but has heard about him alot from being around alot of his children. Recently she started asking me questions about Dad, and I have to say that it's pretty exciting. It has reminded me of part of my job, and of how I want to introduce as many people as I can to my Dad since he is the best dad in the whole world. Then my other friend "the ladies man" I met up recently when I was singing with some of my brothers and sisters. This reminded me that my Bro's & Sis's were also willing to talk with people, which was a huge encouragement.
Now, that was during this past week. Today (starting around 12:30 or so) a couple of great things happened as well. First of all, a great friend started talking to me. We talked about different cultures, primarily about the one I'm working in now, and the one I will be fully immersed in this summer. He was incredibally encouraging and guiding and made me all the more excited about going to CH. Finally, I talked to a friend right around an hour and a half ago. This friend just experienced something fairly traumatic, and I hope she will be all right. But through her I was reminded again of the time when Dad first asked me to comfort someone. It's been crazy, and I'm not sleeping any tonight, but I will get through this, especially with the encouragement from all my family.
Peace,
마태
Amen?!
No!
They said, "All the time, and all the time Dad is good."
Didn't you read the title?...well I suppose they could say that as well, but the former certainly takes precedence over the latter, but oh well.
So I wanted to talk about all the amazing things that are happening right now, and about how our Dad has been working in my life, encouraging me, and building me up to be ready I believe to go to my Creative Access site this summer. (BTW, if you know the place, we don't talk about CH on published places, and I'm practicing my publishing skills for the time when I'm in the Capital) But what ended up happening was I spent almost an hour commenting, probably mostly pointlessly on a friends blog. So what you will receive here may be a shortened version of my view of the ever growing bright spot in my vision. (I wonder if they should put a "may cause blindness" warning on our Dad, it happened to my old friend Paul. In this generation he could have sued.)
So, I don't know about you, but personally when I reach this point of the semester, I'm struggling quite a bit to keep on top of things. Like a whole bunch really. I have, listed in priority and possibly time consumption: My position as a children's pastor, my college work, ...friends..., my other intern responsibilities, YIM fundraising, and sleep. As much as it hurts me to say, my time with Dad tends to jump from the top to the bottom rather irratically. Not a great thing for our relationship, and I thought my brothers and sisters should know. But things have been changing these past couple of weeks.
Maybe the rest of spring break helped, maybe my focus on the goal of completing a 52 mile bike race, or maybe my massive over exposure to the sun a little while back and massive amounts of vitamin D flowing through my system is what has done it. All these are possible, but I tie it to another source. Dad and his Pneuma have been doing amazing things, another of them just in this last hour.
Ok, so first off I want to talk about my friends from CH that are here where I study, not in CH. The first one is the bunny, not to be confused with a cat (which makes no sense to anyone but me, and her if she was actually reading this). This bunny hasn't met my Dad, but has heard about him alot from being around alot of his children. Recently she started asking me questions about Dad, and I have to say that it's pretty exciting. It has reminded me of part of my job, and of how I want to introduce as many people as I can to my Dad since he is the best dad in the whole world. Then my other friend "the ladies man" I met up recently when I was singing with some of my brothers and sisters. This reminded me that my Bro's & Sis's were also willing to talk with people, which was a huge encouragement.
Now, that was during this past week. Today (starting around 12:30 or so) a couple of great things happened as well. First of all, a great friend started talking to me. We talked about different cultures, primarily about the one I'm working in now, and the one I will be fully immersed in this summer. He was incredibally encouraging and guiding and made me all the more excited about going to CH. Finally, I talked to a friend right around an hour and a half ago. This friend just experienced something fairly traumatic, and I hope she will be all right. But through her I was reminded again of the time when Dad first asked me to comfort someone. It's been crazy, and I'm not sleeping any tonight, but I will get through this, especially with the encouragement from all my family.
Peace,
마태
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